Life is great.

I had a moment this morning. One of those really good moments.

It is my day off, the sun is shining and I'm up early. And that is how I like it. My daughter Nicole and my Girlfriend Janice are still sleeping. I spent the morning, as usual drinking too much coffee but, sitting outside in my pajamas (something I never do) with my camera.

The smell of the forest (can I call it that?) is just beautiful. I sat there enjoying watching the squirrels chase one another. The photo I chose to post with this is a squirrel being taunted by my neighbors cat. The beautiful white one that has lost its tail for some unknown reason. I can always tell when the squirrels are being disturbed by the cats around here because of the noise they make.

Also, I sat there watching the birds singing away celebrating another day. Most likely, just as I am also very happy the sun is finally shining.

I was watching everything really because there is so much to see. Especially when you rise up early to witness all that every morning has to offer. The people who live on the other side of me, (not the ones with the white cat), must think I am very patient. I know they know I love my photography. But, when they are at their kitchen window and see me (sometimes for an hour or more) crouched with my coffee and camera on my deck stairs I wonder what they think. I am waiting for the hummingbirds. I am fascinated by all birds, but the cardinals and hummingbirds are my favorite. And if I have to wait all night for that one great shot, I'll do it.

The moment I had? I'm lucky. That's all there is to it. It's so peaceful here and there is nature all around me. It's not a fancy house out in the country, but it is what I have and its great.

I always grin when Janice comes over. Especially when she uses the bathroom. It's tiny. And, most of all, where I live? It sometimes really is like camping.

When I woke up this morning, after having a shower I put on a t-shirt with my pj bottoms and headed outside. There I was with my coffee and camera bare feet walking in the morning grass soaked with dew. Some people I would imagine would cringe at the thought of it but I love it. And as soon as I heard those birds singing and I could smell the trees I was in heaven.

Last night, just before bed Nicole and I were out on the deck. It was around midnight and the stars out here were amazingly brilliant. We talked about the Big Dipper and wondered why they were always and always have been there like that? So, Nicole sent my buddy Dave a message on facebook asking him why that is. He's rather brilliant just like those stars and knows a hell of a lot about science, technology and the universe. He is always the one to ask a question like that. That's for sure.

I should have put my shorts on earlier. I don't want to go into my room and disturb Janice. She likes to sleep in, not only on her days off, but, its her holidays now and honestly? I don't blame her one bit. But, I could have headed out to the store to pick up those clear bags I need.

I approached someone who lives down the road last week about a mountain (almost) of mulch they have sitting in their front yard. I need some for my gardens and I thought it handy if possibly I could get some them being just down the road. I don't have a truck, so it would have to come in multiple loads. I offered money for it, but the kind woman said that wasn't necessary and that I could take half of what is there. I won't nearly need that much, but I am thankful and that is one job I really want to get done today. Then we have to look into Nicole's car that Janice gave her. We need to find out what we need to do to get that underway. Then, its off to the beach.

Yes, Life is Good.

Traffic

I have to drive to work because of the distance. I like to drive to different places to visit people. I also like to drive different places when I'm out taking photographs.

Those are the three things that come to mind and there is only one 'have to' out of three. To be honest, I am getting to a point where I'd much rather not have to own a car anymore. The cost of owning a car is not only ridiculous but also stupid. I think in the near future, hopefully in the next couple of years I can work in the same area where I live and give it all up. The money I would save would allow me to rent a vehicle when I absolutely needed to, or even borrow one for a short while.

Some cities, the traffic lights are well synchronized which of course makes travel efficient and less time consuming. Where I live? It's a joke. Today my daughter and her boyfriend were with me, the canoe on the car on our way to the lake. From one end of town to the other, I at least had to stop for 3/4 of all the traffic lights. And sure, you can mellow out, wait it out, carry on a conversation...whatever. The amount of money I have to fork out each week in fuel for my car, waiting at a traffic light for any amount of time just pisses me right off.

There. That's my rant for the day. Something to set as a goal for the future. No more Car.

Spirit.

I recently entered a photo contest here in town and am I ever glad I did. Even if I don't win it, the experience has been absolutely amazing.

I already had a stock pile of photographs that I could use for this contest, but it was a matter of getting photos of people. There were 3 subjects I could enter into and I was in need of capturing people if I wanted to participate in the entire thing.

I was telling people during my time out there that generally I take photos of nature and not people. Everyone was so willing to help me out by me taking their photo! That thrilled me to no end. The first day I went out to achieve this, we had an event happening here in town and the entire main street was blocked off and full of things happening. And because of this, I just went ahead and approached people, told them who I was, and what I was doing. They were glad to help and glad to be a part of it. It's funny actually because the contest was to capture the spirit of the town. I found the spirit amazing!

I had wanted to capture some people golfing because that is what many people do here. So, I picked a golf course and I went in to the club house with my camera and spoke to the Manager. What a great guy he was! He not only thought it would be great, but he notified all his staff that I would be out there and to let me do my thing and help me in any way. Isn't that amazing? An amazing woman who's job was making sure everyone started properly out there and everything ran smoothly took me in her golf cart and gave me a tour. She introduced me to many people out there and the experience was perfect. It was seniors day and the people I met were welcoming me and what I was doing with open arms. So, I left there with a great spirit of my own and with some really great shots.

I found I was welcome wherever I went and that opened a new door for me. It's all about how you approach the situation. I'm not a professional photographer but some day I will be. And the people out there treated me as if I already am which was really nice. I think from this experience, going forward it will be easier for me to get the shots I need and to have people include themselves.

Really? It was a fantastic day all around.....

Everyone needs their alone time....

It's so peaceful here right now......

For some reason it seems all of my daughters end up coming over after I have worked on a Sunday. Grr. I hate working Sundays and today was brutally boring. And a boring day makes me sleepy and I wasn't much fun for them tonight.

When we arrived here after I was done work, and of course picked them up this place was scorching hot inside. I never know what the weather, or temperature is going to be lately so I left the heat on. It was almost unbearable. And having the oven on didn't help either. But, it was a great pasta dinner and after opening the windows and it cooled off outside everything was good again. Just as I was thinking about driving the other two girls home a friend of my oldest daughter called and wanted her to stay the night. I will miss her and of course I do already but at the same time, I was glad. I have the place to myself again. It has cooled down beautifully. I can hear the frogs singing outside, a little breeze blowing and I am soon off to dreamland.

Long weekends.

I just hopped out of the shower and thankfully it took me away from being a zombie. What a late night that was and I just can't handle those anymore. We took 2 separate cars to the Drive In theatre last night. It was what they call a Dusk till Dawn, meaning each screen plays 4 movies in one night. And out of those 4 movies, we watched one.

The first movie was called Prom and none of us knew anything about it, so we took the kids over to the park so they could play and get to know one another. I'm speaking of my daughter and my girlfriends grandson. It was so much fun to watch them chase each other around having fun. I thought that hour and a half would tire them right out but not a chance.

There was an amazing lightning show during the movie as well. And for some reason I remember going to the Drive In and witnessing this many times. It was just what I think they call heat lightning, because there were only a few drops of rain during the movie.

The movie we went to see was the new Pirates of the Caribbean. 4 movies? As if. It was fun but I must say I can't say I really captured too much of the film. It was odd really. Some of the main characters I was familiar with were not in this film. And although I love and own the other earlier ones, it always takes me a couple of views to understand or follow what is happening. There is always so much going on in these films I find it hard to follow the first time around. And, the two children in the back seat even though both of them love these movies as much as we do had their own thing going on back there giggling and trying to get on the roof of my car. For the first bit I opened the sun roof to let them sit up there but after them crawling in and out a few times I closed it up.

We took two cars because Janice was coming from the south and me the north. We planned to meet up, then get in line but that didn't work out at all. At one point because I was running late we sent each other texts to attempt a well timed meet up. She was stuck in a ridiculous line up of cars on the highway to get in and I even seen her and her car while driving by on the opposite side of the highway. So, me knowing the area from growing up there, took an alternate route. I came from behind taking another route coming up the back side of the Drive In. While she waited still just barely off the highway, I was already inside and parked. I felt bad for her and if I had any idea I would have told her to go the other way. But, as everything does it worked out and I was able to save her a spot right beside my car. When she parked, we then went to the park and later settled into my car.

The movie ended around 2 am, and all of us were tired. Okay, wait. Us adults were tired. I think the kids could have kept going for sure. But, I had to drive my oldest daughter to work for 6 so we called it a night. And thank goodness we did because I was exhausted.

I'm looking out my window right now at the guy next door. He has this pick thing and he's manually taking out every dandelion by hand. Oh my God. Have fun with that. I just noticed him sit on something like a recycle box and he's there looking at all the ones he has left to do. I don't get it. Eventually they do go away and even if you do whatever you need to do to take them out, I'm looking at everyones lawns around here and they will just come back. I'm sure there are many opinions about what I just said. haha.

Anyway....so far its been a great weekend. I love the time off and I love not wasting any bit of it. This morning was amazingly sunny and that made me happy. The clouds are rolling and we're expecting a storm so I'll have to move any plans inside. I hope your weekend is going well......

Thankful.

In the blink of an eye things can change. They can change for the worse, and of course they can change for the better. Life's ups and downs. And when you have one of those ups you have to look back on the downs and wonder what the hell all the worry was about. And after just typing all of that I wonder what the hell all of that was about?

Oh life. I love you. I'm experiencing the up right now and I'm loving it all. Worry? Shit. I've had my share of it and yes, I look back and wonder how many years of my life it will have taken from me. Hopefully not too many. Worrying is a waste of energy and time. But, it happens.

During the time I've been single sometimes I wonder how I've ever managed. Of course, I've had much help and that I am always thankful for. But, beyond that I have to grin or maybe even laugh about how I've had times where I completely knew what I was doing, and how I've had times where I was completely lost. I'm at a point now where even if I don't know what I'm doing I forgive myself and that day and relax. Tomorrow can be the day where I will figure it all out. If I was lost before, I'd worry. And all that time I worried I could have either been relaxing or figuring things out so that tomorrow I would have a grip on whatever it was that was confusing or putting me into trouble. I love those sentences.

I'm not keeping up to this blog very well. I can remember at one point posting mostly every day but I just can't do it lately. I'm either not at home or even if I am my mind is elsewhere. So, forgive me to whom ever may be reading this. I'll do it when I can okay?

I have just returned home after being at my girlfriends place. I stay there every Thursday and that is her window that I posted up there. It's very calm and peaceful just like our relationship. Yeah, I know. Now you understand why I haven't been posting much. It's like my life has taken an entirely different route and wow it's a great one. For many reasons too. I had a conversation with my Ex the other day and it was truly great. I'm happy for her, she's happy for me, our children are doing great, there is no confusion anymore and everyone is going about their life enjoying it. Wow. And isn't that great? Sure there was a time there I was bitter, and I'm sure she was as well but after the dust has settled thankfully everything calmed down and true understanding took place. I know its not always like that. I know. I've heard many stories. I'm thankful everything has meaning now. I'm thankful for many many things.......

Thoughts.

It has been a long week. I'm over due for an actual holiday and you know how that feels right? I've gotten to the point where my attitude at work isn't what it should be. Maybe too its the weather. I'm sure there is a lot of things contributing to my feelings lately. When I'm at my girlfriends house I always enjoy our time together, but it too is an escape from everything else. But, summer is hopefully just around the corner and I always love that.

After work today on my drive home I was feeling tired as hell and so, blue as well. I passed by a school yard and I began to think about the days when I'd pick up one of my daughters from school. I haven't done that in a long time and even though we are all just fine, things aren't as they once were. Plus, they are all old enough now that they don't need their father picking them up anymore. Not unless its the mall or from a friends house. Then, that thought immediately changed and I began thinking of my Father. I began thinking about how drastically my life has changed from the time he was seriously ill and then him passing away until now. What a roller coaster ride I've been on.

I was just chatting on Facebook with an old friend who I must say was very intoxicated and having the most difficult time with his typing. Even though making out what he was trying to say was difficult, I loved it because he is always very honest. I didn't ask but I'm assuming its his day off because I do know he works very hard and being single now and looking solely after his children, he's a great great guy. Just enjoying his day off and letting off some steam I suppose. I used to do that, but not anymore. Shit, Janice and I shared a bottle of wine last night and that almost did me in for work today. I've mellowed. But anyway, our chat on Facebook really had me thinking. We became pretty open about what's happening in our lives these days. And, because of his honesty with his feelings I told him how I had only now realized that after losing my Father, and then my separation, how I had really became a mess. That was the first time I had ever told anyone that. I'm sure many people knew I was even though I tried my best to bury it.

Life is sure a learning experience. Hopefully after our own death we have some kind of chance to go on in some way and at least take those experiences with us. Hmm. It would be a shame to reach the end, maybe get it, understand something and then poof! Gone.

What I do realize now is that my life needed changing. The worst thing anyone can ever do is try to exist in a situation where they are unhappy. My God, we cannot do that to ourselves. And so, there I was in turmoil and self pity, hopeless and feeling like everything was out of control. I had choices. Some I would never make, so it narrowed it down a little. I may have had some kind of breakdown. I suppose I did. But, I'm stronger than I ever give myself credit for. That's for sure. The confusing choices I lay out for myself began to fade away because they were all nonsense anyway and therefor I left myself only one choice. I moved forward. And sometimes moving forward isn't that easy is it? But what's wrong with a couple of years to straighten things out? Damn, the years pass quick enough you don't even miss them if they aren't good years.

So, when we are in rough situations the only way to fix anything is to solve it. The only way to solve anything, especially when its a difficult problem is to not give up on it. Stay positive. Always think positive. Make decisions based upon positive things. Surround yourself with positive people. Life your life positive. Anything you've ever done that seems like a bad cycle that brings you always back to where it was you sat uncomfortably must go away. Sounds like a self help program doesn't it? haha. Maybe some people need a program, but its common sense really isn't it? Surrounding yourself with good people is very important. And, always remaining close with your family. That is, if you can handle that. I'm lucky. I have a great family. Some people have issues and I'm just grateful I don't have that problem. I was also telling this old friend about how much my life has changed being in my new relationship. Wow, has it ever. She has opened up new doors and meeting her family has been wonderful. It's all coming around to where it should be again and for that I am thankful.

I suppose every once and awhile we all can't help but look back and it bring us down a little. What's really good though is looking ahead and that in itself bringing us back up again......